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Pogue

Which of these *parenting preferences are more important? Why?

MajoMILSdlGMGV

I voted for the ones that I believe are more valuable as a human being, but in reality it would be ideal that a person has a balance of all of the above. We should just learn and teach children when it is the best time to practice which. For example Independence and respect for elders I chose Independence, but we should know when to respect our elders, because usually people that are older than us tend to represent some kind of authority, wether that person is in the workplace (your boss) or in school (your teacher) or in the family (parents). In obedience and self-reliance I chose self-reliance but again, you need to learn when it is in your best interest to obey. Not to makes this longer, there is a place and time for each type of behavior, it would be wise to learn when to apply one or the other. 

Vaulk

These are *Parenting* preferences, that indicates that the values here are what is best for *Children* in the eyes of their Parents.

So.  While independence is critical, Respect is much more important for Children.  Independence will inevitably help you as an adult but Respect for elders starts with respect for yourself and THIS learning point is entirely more critical for Children than independence.

Self reliance is important, no one can argue this.  However, learning to obey is the starting point of learning to lead.  One CANNOT lead without first following, one CANNOT effectively be in charge without first learning to obey.  Obedience is far more important than self-reliance for children.

Curiosity is healthy, it is a natural driving force that is inherent in each Human being in different degrees.  That said, good manners goes right back to respect and obedience and is entirely more valuable to a Child than curiosity which will manifest and grow regardless of whether or not you encourage it.

Consideration for and of others is a healthy thing to develop as a child, but learning acceptable behavior and how to apply it is far more important.  Good behavior actually includes consideration for others so when choosing which is more important for a child...this is a no brainer.

someone234

I literally believe in the opposite ethos of @Vaulk ;

I want my children to be monstrosities but the good kind. They should be the type of worker who everyone fears, envies but enjoys working with all at once.

Let the sheep be sheep, I'm raising goats.

Grenache

The flaw here is life itself is a balance, it isn't one thing over another thing.  Raising a child means balancing all the good attributes and minimizing the bad.  The habit of some parents to say it's all about discipline and/or it's all about autonomy is merely evidence that they as adults haven't learned the lesson of balance in life.  And that's usually why the really strict parents end up later in life with at least one child trying to counterbalance or go way off the deep end in revolt against the parent.

Hey, we're a society.  People have to learn how to function within it.  That can mean following rules, but it also can mean standing up for your rights.  Sometimes they have to take charge themselves and assert themselves.  Other times they have to obey the laws and listen to authorities.  Knowing when it's wise to do one or the other is the lesson you have to learn before you can make the most out of all the other life lessons.  And it changes over time and in different scenarios.  There are times your kid needs to sit down and pay attention in class and play by the rules.  And there may be other times when a teacher doesn't deserve blind following of authority (such as if they're abusive or predatory) and that's when the autonomy of your child needs to come out.